Titanic. The Notebook. Say Anything. Romeo & Juliet. The Princess Bride. These are just a few examples of some of the greatest love stories of all time. Not one friend of mine would label me as the romantic type, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t at least want to experience the bitter sweet essence of love. Yes, I’ve had several relationships and more one night stands than I would like to admit but I have yet to experience true love.
About two months ago, I came across an old friend on Facebook while I was trying to look important in public. I didn’t immediately recognize her picture, but the name rung a bell. After adding her, I did the customary scroll through the profile pics and mobile uploads. I was blown away by how beautiful this girl had grown over the years. Don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t hideous back in the day, but she was average at best. She was the girl every guy looked past in order to chase the popular cheerleader prom queen. I didn’t expect much when I decided to hit her inbox but I figured hey why not? To my surprise, not only did she entertain my advance, but she remembered me! We went through the “hey how you been” and the “you look great now” and we eventually exchanged numbers. Keeping myself grounded, I didn’t let myself get too excited because nowadays girls will give out their numbers just to seem nice. After all, the only thing they have to do is ignore texts and calls, block numbers, and go on about their lives. She didn’t ignore my texts. She didn’t block my number. She did the exact opposite of what I was expecting. She agreed to a date.
We ended up going on several dates. The first was to T.G.I. Fridays for dinner and drinks. I kept her interested enough for a second date where we went out for ice cream and a walk in the park. She even agreed to a third date to the movies. She’d never been to any of the places I had taken her and was so impressed that she decided to take me out to a new pizza place she wanted to try. Things were great. We shared lots of interests and philosophies. We laughed at each other’s jokes and corny, made-up words and phrases. We genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.
In my experience, relationships were always one sided. Either I was always interested in girls who wanted nothing to do with me, or I always attracted girls I wanted nothing to do with. This girl was awesome. She was smart. She was gorgeous. She was artsy.She had a unique and classy fashion sense. She had a great sense of humor and a smile that could brighten the gloomiest of days. She woke me up with good morning texts everyday and stayed up extra late for phone conversations knowing she had to be to work in the morning. I just couldn’t accept it. How could a girl so amazing be interested in me? Something couldn’t be right. Right?
Soon, the good morning texts stopped coming in. My calls went unanswered and weren’t returned. My weekends went back to me sulking on the couch watching reruns of Spongebob Squarepants and devouring Hot Pockets. After a week of not hearing from this girl, she sent me a text apologizing for being so distant. I was completely understanding and gave her space because, according to her, she was “going through a lot.” Yea right.
A couple days after her disappearing act, I was kicking it with an old friend. We were discussing sports, politics (not really), and our never-ending skirt chasing adventures when her name came up in conversation. His raised eyebrows and familiarity with her name were not good signs. Immediately, I braced for bad news.
“Be careful man. She’s a heartbreaker,” he told me.
He went on to tell me how she was posting pictures of her and her ex on her Instagram page. The same ex who had done her wrong on multiple occasions. The same ex she used to complain to him about. The same ex who I wish remained an ex. My friend also told me that he had pursued her only months before I did. He left her alone after he found out he wasn’t the only “object of her affection”. Let’s just say that I was less than enthused.
Not wanting to assume the worst purely based on hearsay, I decided to ask her about it. I needed closure. I asked if I was wasting my time on her, to which she responded “I think so. I can’t be as emotionally available to you as I would like.”
WHAT THE F**K DOES THAT MEAN?!!!
She eventually told me that she had gone back to her ex and that she was sorry because she did actually like me, like that just made it okay. I was pissed. I was pissed because I had spent money on dates. I was pissed because I actually let myself like this girl. I was pissed because she didn’t even have the decency to inform me of her “situation” without me having to extract it from her. I felt disrespected and used. So I told her that reconnecting with her was a mistake. I told her that the month we spent together was a waste of my time. I told her not to call or text me if this guy does her wrong again. I told her goodbye.
In all honesty, I’m pretty sure my little rant had very little effect on her at all. I was just an option to her. In the end, I accept responsibility so I will not hold anything against her. I was foolish because all of the red flags were right there in front of me:
1) She told me her situation was complicated with her ex on our first date.
2) She was very popular and had a mass following on her social networks. She even knew a group of guys at the restaurant we went to on our first date. I don’t think I can ever fully trust a girl who knows everybody. Call it being insecure if you want, but I would never actually feel like I would be the only one.
3) Everything was perfect. The dates, the chemistry, the girl herself was just too good to be true. I was foolish for believing it would work.
In conclusion, I have yet to find the real thing. I’m not bitter or upset because I am only 23 and I know that I have plenty of time and I have priorities other than finding love. It would be nice though. As far as the girl goes, I have no hard feelings toward her. I still think she’s a great girl and she has a lot going for her. She just had to make a decision, and I was not a priority. I can accept that. If she were to call me today though, I don’t think I would have it in me to reconnect with her. I don’t think I could ever fully trust her. I don’t think I could stop myself from falling in like with her all over again. I have learned from this experience and I am not afraid to try again. Who knows, maybe the next girl will be my Princess Bride.